AUBREEVISION - Observations from the far side of the dial

In case my last update didn't give it away, I'm parked in front of the tube for Oscars coverage. Good Lord, were Star Jones and Kathy Griffin ever nauseating. I almost yearned for Joan Rivers, and that's pretty bad.

But on to the real reason I watch awards shows -- the outfits. Just think of the weeks of juicy In Touch issues ahead! My picks for best eye candy: Kate Winslet, Scarlett Johansson, Kirsten Dunst, Renee Zellweger, Laura Linney, Natalie Portman, Cate Blanchett and Halle Berry. Hilary Swank's dress is an interesting dichotomy. Love the plunging back; the schoolmarmy front, not so much.

Ooh, me likey Robin Williams' black suit/red shirt combo. Sharp!

Eric was up this weekend and we watched an interesting trio of movies -- In Good Company, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and Napoleon Dynamite. The first was terrific -- yay Dennis Quaid, Topher Grace and Scarlett Johansson. The lighting and soundtrack were lovely and set the perfect tone; the NYC setting and overall mood somehow made me think of Simon and Garfunkel. I'd been wanting to see Eternal Sunshine etc. etc. forever but found it disappointing -- decent performances but irksome (I thought) characters, particularly Kate Winslet's Clementine. Napoleon Dynamite was mystifying -- I'd heard good things but thought it was awful. I assumed the exruciating writing and comatose pace were building to something, but alas, no such payoff existed.

But enough with playing Ebert -- it's back to the main attraction for me. What's with Pierce Brosnan's disturbing animated sidekick? Oooh, I can't wait to read the critics' deconstruction!