AUBREEVISION - Observations from the far side of the dial

Yesterday, under the tutelage of a sympathetic friend, I took a second stab at dim sum. My first attempt at dim sum appreciation was a total disaster. A Chinese friend-of-a-friend ordered for our motley troupe of clueless-but-curious Caucasians. It turned into a nightmare of tripe, squid, and heartburn. Not to mention that my white-girl chopstick stylings resulted in a half-eaten shrimp dumpling being flung into my friend Darin's lap. But at least I got out of eating it.

My Chinese-Canadian friend Windy, after getting wind of this debacle, was determined to make me rethink dim sum. Yesterday she got her chance. A group of us met up for brunch, dim sum style; some dim sum virgins, some old pros, others, like me, scarred but strangely open to further punishment. Windy, alone in a sea of Caucasians, graciously chose dishes for our table. And a bang-up job she did, I have to say. Rather than traumatizing our Western palates with the full dim sum experience, tripe and all, she wisely went the tamer route (aside from the requisite order of chicken feet for braver souls). As a result, we enjoyed a fun meal of spring rolls, sticky rice, pork dumplings, Thai chicken, fried noodles and the like, emerging unscathed and with a pretty good impression of the dim sum experience. And not a chopstick malfunction in sight. I still can't say that dim sum is among my favourite meals, but at least I got to see its friendlier side. Thanks, Windy!

Oh, and I do like the little Chinese tea-cups. So cute!

After dim sum I joined a friend for a workout in her building's gym. We were making fools of ourselves on the universal gym (Greek to me, I'm all about the free weights) when a woman came in, plugged in her ghetto blaster and cranked up this godawful "music," drowning out the classic rock radio piped in by the landlord. The CD was almost worse than the woman's rude behaviour - horrible, painful synthesized sound-alike ballads by a woman whom I can only describe as a female Roch Voisine (you Canadians know who I mean).

After surviving the aural assault we moved up a few floors to the pool. This particular apartment building has quite an impressive one - on the top floor, with panoramic views of downtown Ottawa. And on good days, a hot tub. Yesterday it was drained. Phooey.

Swimming is an excellent exercise when you're not very good at it. One lap and I was exhausted. Must be in the genes. My father and the vast majority of his lobster-fishing comrades don't know how to swim - it's almost like it's a prerequisite. Until recently he didn't even know how to use the $500 flares the government requires each boat to have on board. And I quote: "If I ever had to use them I'd figure it out." Right....Fortunately, the government decided to impose a mandatory safety course on the fishermen in my hometown, which consisted of useful exercises like CPR training, launching flares and being thrown off a wharf in survival suits.

But I digress...

After swimming we went back down to my friend's apartment, where I ended up staying on for Diet Group. I don't actually belong to Diet Group, not feeling the need to lose weight. Several of my friends do, however, and get together on a bi-weekly basis to share and discuss weight-loss strategies and nutrition/fitness in general. Since I happened to be there anyway, I thought I'd stick around.

Last night's Diet Group topic was "how to handle cravings." And a few good tips were shared...unfortunately, however, the conversation kept turning to rapt, loving, detailed discussion of the particular foods we crave. By the time the session ended I had a mental grocery list a mile long. Mmmm, cravey....

I'm drinking port, which is basically disgusting. I can't quite put my finger on what it reminds me of - possibly molasses. A friend gave me half a bottle and I hadn't tried it till today...so I poured a glass and even though I don't like it, well, it wouldn't do to waste it, right? So down the ol' gullet it goes.

Nova Scotia and New England are in hard shape weather-wise, which means the folks I love best - my family and my honey - are thoroughly snowbound. Eric's been doing lots of shovelling and the folks are twiddling their thumbs and sticking it out. 3rd blizzard in a week for Nova Scotia - my sister, who works for the school board, is getting days off up the yin-yang. Last Monday it was so bad the department of highways pulled the plows off the roads. Here in Ottawa, it's just plain grotty & cold.

It's funny how you can know a word but not know you know it. Grotty, for instance - never used it before in my life and have probably only heard it once or twice. Still, it tucked itself away in a corner of my brain and just emerged in that last paragraph. And it captures exactly what I wanted to convey, as confirmed by Dictionary.com: "Very unpleasant; miserable."