AUBREEVISION - Observations from the far side of the dial

Last weekend cricker81 and I hit the road bright and early to scope out the neighbourhood yard sales. The best four dollars I've ever spent got me what I lovingly refer to as my very own discount Segway:



I had been entertaining the notion of buying a scooter but couldn't really justify shelling out the cash -- would I actually use it? Could I actually use it without breaking my neck? But when cricker and I stumbled across two snazzy used numbers in our wanderings, I knew that me and scooters were a fated combination.

I chose one and paid the adoption fee. As soon as we got home I took her out for a spin, and fell promptly, hopelessly in love. The first few strides were awkward but I was scooting gracefully along in under five minutes. And discovering the brake function added a whole new dimension! As an afterthought, I did a little preventive maintenance, tightening the nuts and bolts to minimize the risk of spontaneous structural collapse, because that would be bad.

Here's my friend Darin taking a menacing spin through the kitchen:



Today I took a scoot jaunt to run a few errands. Being car-less, and not confident enough on a bike or rollerblades to venture into traffic, scootering increases my efficiency tremendously -- I did my business at the bank, pharmacy and convenience store in a freewheeling jiff. When I got to a store I just hooked my trusty sidekick's handlebars over my shoulder and carried 'er in. I hate to think of putting her away when the snow flies.

People have interesting reactions to my newfound mode of transportation. It gets smiles and compliments from some -- on my way to the bank, a man on the street called it "an awesome idea" -- while others seem to look down their noses a bit (got that vibe from one of the pharmacy clerks). It does seem a little incongruous that I'm 27 years old and ride a scooter, but looking young for my age helps me get away with it. Passing for a kooky college kid works against, me, though, in that while I don't look out of place on a scooter, more typical "grown-ups" don't recognize and treat me as a peer -- who likes to be presumed 18, as has occasionally been my experience, at three years shy of 30? But in this case, I decided the sheer bliss of scootering outweighed the risk of being treated like a kid.

But whatevs. It's an environmentally friendly. economical and frickin' fun way to get around, and it suits me just fine. It also brings back memories: in university I had the biggest crush on a blond, Beck-loving surfer-type who wrote poetry and rode his scooter everywhere. It did occur to me, though, that maybe my scooter needs a bit of tricking out. While riding this morning I had a funny vision of scootering along with sparkly handlebar streamers blowing in the breeze. Note to MTV: how's about Pimp My Scooter?