AUBREEVISION - Observations from the far side of the dial

Today's Oprah is alarming me. It's her annual "favourite things" show and the audience is thrashing around in an orgasmic frenzy, weeping over free TV sets and Burberry jackets, squealing like trained seals every time The Leader speaks. My dear friend Sarsar is, unfortunately, a charter member of the Church of Oprah...

I have emptied three bottles of wine in two days but it's not as bad as it sounds. There was only an inch in the bottom of each...really. Methinks it is time to find a job!

One benefit of losing my job is the chance to do some things I haven't had time for. I completely rearranged my room over the weekend - the chi flow is improved, I think. My womb is in order, and all is right with the world.

Clem is enjoying a snack of dried squid - I pick it up at the Chinese market and it sends him into a kittycat frenzy. Silly Clem-cat!