AUBREEVISION - Observations from the far side of the dial

The funny thing about being lactose intolerant and eating ice cream is that it doesn't settle so good. Obviously, you may think. Not so much to everyone, apparently. Oww...
Ohhhh.......

"What's the matter, Ralph?"
"I eated the purple berries!"
"How do they taste, Ralph? Good?"
"They taste like....burning!"

Excruciating gas pain aside, it's been a good day. Unmistakable signs that spring has sprung in Ottawa:

• Hot dog vendors emerge from hibernation
  
• Winter jackets are replaced by breezy trenches (that's my best attempt at Cosmo-speak)
• The first brave beer drinkers venture onto outdoor patios

Encasing my feet in bulky shoes and boots feels like such a waste of a pedicure that today I broke out the flip-flops. Only in Canada would someone wear flip-flops with six inches of snow on the ground. By the time I got to work I had snow and ice caked between my pedicured toes, but damnit, it must have been at least 3 degrees outside.